Email Traffic on the Gender Highway

The "frontal assault" method seems to be working!

I have a three commitments on Jdate and a ongoing conversation about Hockey on OKCupid.

For the most part, online dating has been revealed (to me) to be a very one-sided competition. Women, without considering their selectivity, get a higher rate of email traffic and initiated conversations than men do. Somehow, I think this gap is quite significant. But I think I can accept that fact. I look at this as a digital reflection of a more traditional dating formality. While there has been a liberalization of the role of women and men in the dating dynamic, there is still a high presence of male-initiated conversation. This has nothing to do with some sort of anachronistic, bygone idea of traditional roles, but more of a transition of the dating/relationship/marriage scene to a modern, digital era. It reflects only a prima facie incarnation of the relationship dynamic. Once you delve into the details, it reveals to be a much more progressive activity where initiation of relationships becomes gender non-specific. With my experience, I refer to relationships with the heteronormative filter, as I have no experience or knowledge of the homosexual (or transgender) dynamic. And, the statement is meant to be an admittance of ignorance, not a assumption of the existence of a different dynamic between homosexual, transgender and/or heterosexual dating/relationships/marriage.

Anyone like Hockey?

I decided to use the "frontal assault" method (my characterization) for online dating. That roughly translates to having two accounts - Jdate and OKCupid - in order to maximize accessibility and synthesize ideal conditions for social interaction in a emotionally symbiotic fashion (get more dates).

I have had a good amount of success on Jdate. But, last night I found an email from someone off of OKCupid. Even though she addressed me as "sir," she seemed like a nice woman.

But...

She loves hockey. I know nothing about Hockey. I would love to learn more and go to some games. Well...we shall see.

The System Works!

In the words of Dr. Frankenstein: It's alive!!!

In one day I got 4 email replies. I had a sustained email conversation with one. I even IMed with another! And...I got a commitment for a date, in a couple weeks.

It's days like this that make frustration and expensive bar tabs worth it. Happy days, people...Happy days.

First Contact

It looks as if we are not alone in the universe...of online dating. We have...

FIRST CONTACT!

24/5'4/Masters Degree/Graduated Stanford

Boilerplate description..."quirky sense of humor" blah blah blah blah

Is looking for dating, long term relationship, friendship, etc.

Reform Jewish, not practicing.

Asked her on a date after initial email connection...no response. Check back later.

Jdate does not have a rating system. Thank god for that. Wait...is that blasphemy?

Dancing...I hate dancing!

"I am currently dating..."

Message me: "If you can handle me" and Looking for: "short-term dating"

What?! Currently dating someone? Looking for short term dating? I'll be honest..I am a bit confused. I had no idea Mormons used Jdate.

"I think this site is sorta silly and do not take it seriously and probably won't meet up with you in person...I am not the type of girl who will fall for sweet talking, flattery and bulls*** conversations. Save your words for some hoe...For those who know what a JAP is it stands for Jewish American Princess, not Japanese"

And..she's Jewish. Way to make TCP (The Chosen People) look good.

She goes on to say that she does not like "unattractive" or "needy" people.

Here a message she should put on her profile: "Here I am. F*** you."

And, she likes dancing....I hate dancing!

Replies Very Selectively

After one week, I have decided that variety is probably a good thing. So...I started an OKCupid account as well as my Jdate account.

But...that's not what this post is about.

It's about monotony.

OKCupid puts a small colorful dot next to each person signifying their rate of response. Some people have "responds often" and some have "responds selectively" and then there is this:

So, I started contemplating the implications of the color scheme. Is the person extremely selective? Is the person lazy? What are the motivations behind being "very selective?" Does red mean stop? Or...does red mean proceed with caution? More importantly, does it mean they are actually selective, or don't have time to read all the emails?

Here is a hypothesis: They have a lot of confidence in their looks, so they went to (free) online dating to confirm their beliefs. They upload some nicely shot photos and sit back watching the emails come through. They're like the Scrooge McDuck of online dating. They come home and swim the vastness of their emails, like McDuck swims in his money.

Replies very selectively...alright

Replies very selectively...next

Replies very selectively...damn

Replies very selectively...for f***s sake!

Replies selectively...hey! Went to UCLA! 5'9? Maybe she doesn't care about height.

WIN.

Pre-Date Emails

This section is about initiating a connection. This is not meant to be advice to anyone. It's more of a chronicle of my online dating experience. I would like to premise this with the fact that I always distrusted online dating. I still have my reservations, but experiencing new things and places with new people is something I have tried to do since I left Washington, DC about a 16 months ago.

The first woman I emailed seemed a little shy and reserved (IE. perfect). She wanted a simple introductory date to "get to know" whoever she decides to date. If that worked out, then...who knows? (click on the image to see it larger)




Here is a message to someone who is more "spontaneous" and "outgoing." Something that irked me about her profile is: "I can't find nice Jewish boys in LA." I think that kind of attitude is self fulfilling. Anyways...I put some more creativity into this one (click on the image to see it larger):



Now...just to wait for them to come flocking to me....

Anytime, now....

Welcome!

Hello.

This is my second blog.

It will be about my endeavor to find that special person who is willing to go out in public with me. But, it's how I will find this person that will make this blog somewhat unique...

It's...

The Date over the InterWebs blog!

I will put new posts when things progress.